The Sign of Peace will be replaced by the Post-It-Note of Peace. Every parish to provide sufficient recycled post-it-notes, and Fair Trade pencils at the back of church, on which to write a message of love/peace/ kisses/ cuddles (delete whichever does not apply), to a named recipient. SMO’s [Special Minister Operatives] will be strategically placed at the end of each pew, and at the appointed time, will collect the notes and deliver said notes to the named recipient in whatever part of the church said recipient is sitting/ standing/kneeling/ lounging (delete whichever does not apply).
If you don't read Damian Thompson's blog in the UK Telegraph, there is something lacking in you. This was from a comment by "Terry." Our Terry?