Internet Dating and Truth in Advertising

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Well, much as I like Sister Edith's blog, Monastic Musings, I certainly hope and pray that she is not an "expert" on today's subject, Internet dating! But as a sociologist, I guess she probably has read a book or ten that might have covered the subject and her thoughts on the matter might be of value to single folks, whether looking, or not.

Our local newspaper brought news of another surprising idea: internet dating services should, somehow, be responsible for checking the backgrounds of their clients. This is yet another step in the commodification of the process of finding a soul mate.

Careful reading of the article Internet daters, legislators want a little truth in advertising revealed that the issue is not the singles ads - where respond-at-your-own-risk seems to be the widely recognized criterion. It is dating services that are under fire - companies which purport to match people based on their backgrounds, interests, the traits they desire in a partner, and their own characteristics. Clients want protection from sex offenders, former felons, and potential stalkers, although they also mention their that dates advertised as petite turn out to be short and heavy.

It has only been in the last 100 to 150 years that people have been responsible for finding their own marriage partner. Parents and other family members, friends, church groups, colleges with selecting admissions, and organized social events such as coming out parties created a network of potential mates, and provided a source of background information - the stuff out of which Jane Austen wove most of her plot lines.

Our social lives are now filled with transiency. People move to new locations. Job changes are frequent. Longterm friendships are rare. In the midst of all of this, the process of choosing a life partner has become an individual project; most people do not welcome the advice and opinions of friends, co-workers, and family. (Read Dear Abby for a week to find the evidence!) This is too bad: marriages in which family members and friends like and approve of the spouse are much more likely to endure, according to studies collected by the National Marraige Project. [snip] Duluth NewsTribune