Saturday, January 13, 2007

How Cold Is It?

The Curt Jester, Catholic blogger and humorist, and resident of Florida, must have read a few Minnesota papers and discovered that winter-like weather has finally arrived. He has posted some top reasons how Catholics can tell that it is cold, or hot. I was particularly interested, not so much because it was only 5 above this morning, but more because he had a Floridian's perspective on heat. You see, I have just survived about 28 days of ownership of a new computer, guaranteed to be better, faster, bigger, etc, than anything known to any Catholic, that actually subjected me to 28 days of Computer Purgatory. I want to compare so I can make my own list.

But I am up and running and the place where I bought it has convinced me that it is not unusual that my new box doesn't display images as well as my ten year old box that I have been using for backup. I'll spare you the sad story, other than to let you know that I pretty much held my temper in check. After all it still is cheaper and better than anything I have owned in the past 17 years. But I might have to go broadband to make it work right.

Enough of that.

Cold and Hot Catholics

un-Muted Mumblings blogs:

As the temperature dips into the low single digits (or below zero according to some), I ran into some particularly Catholic experiences this morning. So here is my "A Catholic knows it is cold when:"

- Your lips freeze to the metal crucifix as you kiss your Rosary for the morning commute.
- You experience an apparition walking by the front yard statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary; she isn't crying, but she appears to be shivering.
- The Rosary swinging from the rear view mirror chips ice off the windshield as you slam on the brakes.

and the number one way to know it is cold (not exclusive to Catholics)

- The environmentalists stop talking about global warming.

Funny stuff. Now here is my Florida counterpoint.

A Catholic knows it's hot when.

* You fill up your Holy Water font five times a day because it keeps evaporating.
* You squeeze to rinse your scapular daily because of the all the sweat it has absorbed.
* You never buy a Rosary with black beads because they retain too much heat.
* You burned your fingers blessing yourself at Mass from a Holy Water font warmed by sunlight through the stained glass windows.
* Your church bulleting is printed on asbestos.

And the number one way Catholics know that it is hot

* You start to wonder just how bad Purgatorial flames can be in the first place.
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